Its sad we have to plan out fun a month in advance. 30 sucks.
I just googled the nutrition facts for a mcgriddle and yet I still want to go to mcdonalds
I'll go out only because I know the starving children in third-world countries would frown upon us if we let an hour of free sangria go to waste...
as we were stuffing their 24 of beer into our bags you kept saying you wanted cheese strings. closest things we found were kraft singles. as the guys came up the stairs you kept screaming 'GET THE CHEESE! GET THE CHEESE!'
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
The last thing I remember is him grabbing my ass and telling me he knew where the jello shots were, so I followed him.
Did I mention I should never take 5 Xanax and drink?
I sort of figured that out when I found you sitting on the roof of your house saying we could get in through the skylight while I called the locksmith.
Your stoned with a 2 year old in the room....and that makes you want to have babies?!
I'm beginning to worry that I seem to get along best with people when I'm naked with them.
He's like a fucking cake pop, the greatest thing in the world while it lasts, but it never lasts for long enough
I'm eating your cookies as payment for having to listen to you. Happy sex
I still can't get the taste of her nipples and the udon noodles out of my mouth
Sorry for prompting a philosophical penis discussion at 10:45 on a Friday night.
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
But yeah, I am thinking that "Cake Heresy" will now be a thing
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