you know you are hungover when... you set your alarm for the next time you think you are going to throw up
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
She put her phone in her underwear and it somehow managed to work it's way into her vagina. she has a BLACKBERRY.
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
He deleted all his profile pics with her. It was like the bat signal for single women everywhere.
Im cutting you off tonight ONE boy at a time
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Memeber that time you got detained in Poland. We don’t talk about that enough
I've been trying to fall asleep with ice packs covering my vagina for the last hour... Sorry for being vulgar. I'm going to kill myself.
For some reason, my alarm clock was unplugged & in the kitchen microwave. I don't remember doing that...
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize
