is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
got some bad news about ur virginity. she didnt make it thru the night
enterprise is going to pick me up, im too high for this
well he showed me a naked baby picture and i was right it hasn't grown
She answered the door wearing a blanket and holding a golf club. I was too late for this party.
She looked at my cock with a kind of resigned disappointment.
I NEED ANOTHER LEVEL OF CAPS TO EXPRESS TO YOU THE MAGNITUDE OF MY FADDEDNESS
Should we buy the taco bell before hand? Not having taco bell on Quattro de mayo isn't a risk I'm willing to take
I ordered a VEGAN pizza, because it gets here the fastest, just so I could get a 2 litre of Coke. For my whiskey.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
My early Valentine's Day one night stand just took an uber home. Thank you, technology, for letting me enjoy this day in peace. 😍
Did I tell you that I told him I deleted his dick pics and he almost started crying?
My dad called me in the middle of the night, drunk on vodka, asking for references on the Irish alphabet.
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
For the love of all that is holy just take the tranquilizers Erica
Randomize
