I'm curled up in a ball on the floor of my office with the lights off. I hope no one notices. No more open bar. Woof.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
Well hey if hot cowboys are involved then all bets are off.
You should see the damage i did to the apartment last night. So many broken things and butter sticks stuck to windows.No memorys
All I've consumed over the last couple days is Vanilla Coke, semen, and Coors. I don't think today will be any different.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I have the coolest burn here. Everyone is taking my picture. I'm like a celebrity of the burn victims.
Petty good. I just stapled a 5 dollar bill onto the chest of a sword swallower.
The next time i black out make sure i remove the ping pong balls from my weave. Especially before my first day of classes.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why would I want a relationship when I’m the side dick for my boss and a few women from the gym
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