So apparently when I roll on X I find 'dick ina box' not only hilarious but also sexually arousing.
It's finally official that I am from Oklahoma. I'm currently sleeping with my ex-fling's brother.
Went home with a guy 2 " his house". Woke up this morn on couch to parents cooking breakfast, piss all over my back and he is no where to be found. That fuckr pissed on me and bounced. His parents are gonna think some drunk bitch pissed their couch.
apparently "my dealer got arrested" is not an acceptable answer when mom asks "What happened? You look sad today"
I know you don't remember, but the teeth marks on my face say it happened.
He was taking the condom off and he turns to me and says, "You know how snakes can shed their skin?"
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
it would be so handy to have a fax machine attached to my body
I wish I could understand how you function in society
I'm about to ride on a tractor i have no time for you
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
My gay card got upgraded to platinum status today.
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
I'm reading 50 shades of grey and masturbating while he's doing insulation downstairs. Maybe I can get him to bring me a sandwich
Also you think METH is on the same level of wanting to see the movie cats? We’re gonna unpack that later
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