Did you go home with that guy without me?
Sorry boo - it's pouring and I found a boy with a car
In line at the arbys drive thru on foot. Legendary.
That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
i feel as if last night was a right of passage. to officially be an adult you must have a drunken one night stand with a co-worker and go to work the next day still drunk wearing yesterday's clothes...
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
No seriously stop! I feel bad for him. It isn't even big enough to make fun of. It's so small that it's like a disability.
I don’t know what's weirder; the fact that I weigh more with an erection..or the fact that I actually weighed myself with an erection...
I don't understand how these people can do extreme gymnastics and I have problems walking up the stairs.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
I would like you to know I am eating your apology chocolate, which means i forgive you for puking everywhere before formal
Martha Stewart has had a one night stand and is unsure if she's had a threesome. I no longer feel slutty.
He convinced the breakfast vendor to melt twix bars on bacon for me at 4am. He slurred every word. I think I found my prince charming.
Why don’t they have healthy alcohol yet?
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
Randomize
