Gonna be late. Someone jumped in front of our train.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i was getting a blow-job tonight in the mens bathroom of a bar and the bouncer comes in and says "bro i don't mean to cock block but you cant do that here."
i'm moving back early just in case the freshmen need a tour of the school
oh right the one that ends on your bed
dude I'm not 100% but I think your mom is sexting me.
Although, I did get to see a Raiders fan and his toothless girlfriend get roughed up by the police and dragged out of the stadium. So the night wasn't a total loss.
She's popping painkillers like they're tic tacs and singing the soundtrack to dreamgirls. It's you're turn to babysit her.
his name is devion and he has a voice like velvet and handcuffs
you are never too drunk for berry picking
We played alot of beer pong and ventured into the woods with tiki torches
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
I used my tears to chase my tequila. You could say I rallied.
His encouragement of my recreational drug use is the backbone of our nonrelationship. That, and rough animal sex and loud music.
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
stop texting me about your public sex.
says she who narrated getting eaten out in a movie theatre over text to me
Randomize
