Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
I was happy to be the center of attention..until i realized why everyone was staring
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
If it makes you feel better, I doubt anything could survive in your uterus.
some gay kid said he wanted to blow him because "his eyebrows told a story"
Listen to me plotting my whoredom.
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
Well. I guess talking about me stealing your wife may not be in the list of legit conversations
He's not very smart so he didn't know I was yelling at him with monologues from Scandal.
Look, I've got a really big car. We just need to put ourselves in it and put some body parts in other body parts.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Well I only snuggle him I don't hump him. That's rude.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
Randomize
