As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
our drinking schedule never changed, we just drank at work.
The forest. Magic mushrooms. Wind trees leaves sky. That is alll.
I just banged your sister. Thats what you get for takibg my lunch money in 2 grade, boom, boom fiyyaa powaa
Just pulled a muscle trying to take a naked pic. I think it's time to start working out again.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
You know you're hung-over when you're smoking and have the strong urge to eat the cigarette. No more buckets of gin. No. More. Ever.
Had a dream I cut my own dick off. That's it I gotta see a doctor...
Umm
Exactly.
I was really hoping my 420 would involve a lot more weed and a lot less buttholes
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
When he was leaving this morning he said I'll text you later on and I replied with if you don't that's cool too.
he said "i'm the cat whisperer, watch". he took a hit from the pipe, grabbed the cat and blew the smoke in its ear. he grinned and the cat started purring. it was magnificent
Nobody cheats on THIS.
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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