I don't usually arrange sex via text message
Why. Ill be the rabbit if ull be the carrot.
I'm home now. bring me food and boobies
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
anal on a first date. tsk tsk.
I didn't know it was possible to throw up mid-sneeze.
Apparently tackling a bar stool and crashing to the floor while yelling for 6 shots of whiskey won't get you thrown out on St Pattys Day.
i have a "get your shit together" dinner with my parents tonight. After that ill be down to party
It's happening again. I feel like I'm under water and my heart beat matches "Teenage Wasteland"
how do you say happy birthday to the guy that almost got you pregnant? i cant just write the same thing as last year.
My vagina can tell he is in a metal band. I dont know if I can sit down.
Queso dip and pictures of Daniel's penis. It's like the last days of Rome over here.
I vote for a trading skills night. You teach me to juggle, I'll teach you knife fighting, and we'll both learn banjo
we had to invent a new word for how drunk I was last night
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Randomize