i just fingered the ice cream at home instead of getting a spoon
been there done that
i'm in the guys across the halls apartment. i think 7 MIP guy wants me. he just got a medical marijuana card. might be worth it.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
Lesbians. Lesbians everywhere.
im about 40 per cent sure i invited the bouncer to our pajama party next weekend...
Just blew my age on the breathalyzer. I also have 8 stitches in my head. So worth a .22 though. All time record.
I had to put a towel over my laptop because the little power light was too bright. New hangover low.
Fun fact: I don't want to be an actual functioning adult because why
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
I've now fucked in every motel room in this small town.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
I just saw a guy faceplant off a unicycle while holding a saxophone, while his buddy riding another unicycle and sporting a flute rode by laughing
Only at UConn...
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