Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
after taking her first shot and having her first random hook up she finally feels like she is ready for college
she has no idea
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Exactly, finding that perfect flask to come with you on all your adventures is like finding the perfect wedding dress. You have to feel it.
Have you fucked anyone in the hospital yet because obviously this illness isnt worth it unless you do. I MISS YOUR HEALTH
I kept trying to give you water and you kept spitting it back at me. You looked like a camel. People were staring
Just had a horrible realization. I've fucked a guy with a webbed foot AND a guy with a third nipple.
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
dude, I felt like being high in a Santa hat and eating five boxes of cookies was right for today.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
At one point I had two blunts in my hand and had no idea where they came from.
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
Once again, your first date sounds like something of an epic. Odysseus' Quest for Fourth Base.
im bringing home some absinth and some holy water. one way or another things are going to get spiritual.
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Randomize
