If you had to guess, would you say that as a species, midgets are more or less flammable than humans?
Less. Duh. They have less combustible mass.
so im watching realhousewives of jersey with my mom. she just said they werent really rich bc they were doing their own makeup.
First night home from college and I already forgot that walking around nearly naked with my laptop open to smut porn isn't acceptable. Sorry, mom.
Pretty girls always come out on top. Or bottom. Whatever. Point is we come out with their boyfriends.
I'd invite him but there's too many people who have fucked me going already
im downtown. alone. lost. drunk. dressed as santa. dont find me. i just heard someone say mechanical bull.
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
Just high watching the holiday fireplace channel. My space heater lends authenticity to the fire experience. Come over.
Please tell me joes at work safe and sound and doesn't smell like jail?
I just bought the spice girls album. We will be doing music videos in the near future. You are our baby spice-- don't fight it
it was her dad's 50th birthday kegger. Within the first 5 minutes I got punched in the ear from an off-duty cop and smoked a joint the size of my vibrator.
oh yeah, and she got boxed-out by said cop. Then her dad turned around and high-fived him for it
You passed out and I didn't draw a penis on your face. Sister of the year.
He also reminds me slightly of a pirate which i find strangely attractive
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
ALSO I MAYBE ACCIDENTALLY HAND CUFFED MYSELF TO A CHAIR
Randomize
