Ill do this for you.
You are a team player.
This is me making up for not putting my tongue inside you more.
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
I hope making "real" money at your "real" job is worth it because you totally missed beer and dorrito mac n cheese tuesday.
Just calculated that for my last final tomorrow I need 120% to improve my grade and 53% to keep it..buying 30 packs now, go get dressed
There is a pile of hair outside the apartment next door. At least now I know what all that shouting was about last night.
I mean technically the bite was both in my nose and on the outside of it. I thought I was going to need stitches or something.
Why was his mouth around your nose anyways?
It was just one of those nights, man.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
Carver called his mom a milf again
Was it on purpose this time?
I'm very impressed by your ability to explain a story about your fiery snatch solely in emojis. props.
I'm beginning a new chapter of my life in which our fridge will always be stocked with jello shots. I'm excited to embark down this road to fruity, semi-solid alcoholism.
Is it rude to send him a, "happy birthday, I hope you finally get an STD" text?
I know, dude. If he ends up having a tiny dick, I will literally pack it back into his pants and leave. Not worth the aggravation.
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
It is NEVER not funny to me when I am sitting at a table and I've touched the dicks of every single person I'm sitting with.
Randomize
