? is bags or t-bags slang for scrotum?
jesus mom
she got the salsa and pickles out of the fridge looked at me and said what can i make with this
My horoscope told me I'm getting laid tonight. Please don't make the stars be liars
You're the only person that can successfully use titties and Jesus in the same sentence.
Can we play rock paper scissor shot again? I want to black out in 15 minutes or less...
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
when you're a senior and the freshman guy you wake up next to asks who you are, you DO NOT give him your real name.
I just trimmed my bush to manageable levels. I'm gonna take a nap and then get in there and finish the job.
You sat outside petting a picture of your cat for hours... not even the real thing... just a picture.
Just bought shot glasses from the thrift store. I think the guy buying a winter coat was even judging me.
i just want a beer and a blow job. is that so much to ask?
and i just want a ring so i can stop faking it. is that?
That would involve putting on clothes and I don't think I can face that right now.
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