Well i threw up in my mouth a few times. But i successfully swallowed it. Still going strong.
party started at 10. cops are coming to shut us down now and its 11. i already lostmy underwear and im wearing a sparkly thong on my haed. this has to be some kinda record.
I think jizz is working it's way to becoming my number 1 food source.
Listen, what he fails to understand is that the Olive Garden does not equal pussy.
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
At least my fat-chick-ratio has not been that bad this semester ...
... I went down on him at the movies. I feel like Alanis Morisette.
No idea. I woke up in the middle of the night to you drooling and gnawing on my arm. Then you rolled over, punched the air 4 times, then proceeded to talk about your hair in your sleep.
I showed that dick picture that your date texted you to everyone because you passed out and left your phone unattended. Your fault. Plus his cock was big so his fault too.
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
I may have had sex with him and told him we wasn't worth my time then went home and made mashed potatoes
Dude a gay guy just Sparta kicked this Samoan guy for calling him a flamer you need to get down here the free kamakazee shots haven't even started yet
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
the most terrified I've ever been was seeing Danny Devito squirming on the ground in this underwear, covered in hand sanitizer, completely hairless
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