feel weird hangin out with you now that i've eaten your sister out
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
So i told my advisor i had to drop the class bc the prof said "supposably" and "irregardless" within the 1st 10 minutes of the 1st class; she agreed with me that dropping it was the best choice
I think throwing up in my her purse is probably why we broke up
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
I like to keep a steady black out going for the holidays. I feel it makes me less cynical
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I didn't know he had a girlfriend until after we had sex when he said, "Man I really gotta stop cheating on my girlfriend."
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I don't think stranger penis made your tonsils bleed
I found the guy I hooked up with last night on Wikipedia, at least now I know how old he is.
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
Randomize
