Youre a pretentious asshole and im not sure who you think you are. Get the hell over yourself and the self righteous culture snob image because its pretty obnoxious.
I Bought a bracelet with bible characters and a charm broke. the virgin mary one. Do you think it's a sign?
Well if I fail my finals for being drunk on Cinco De Mayo there is always next year to graduate.
You said that last year...
How was the bike ride?
Nope. High in the basement. Fruit cups.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
SEX BINGO!
Canadian or clown?
Have you ever just like not slept in so long that everything looks like a lava lamp?
And then he dove into my vagina like scrooge mcduck into a room of gold
I think the only context in which I'd be comfortable being kidnapped is by a band of baby sloths
How do you politely tell a guy that you only kissed him so he would shut the fuck up?
Who the abstract fuck do you think you are!?
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