gavin joseph was born around 1 oclock 9lbs 12oz... over 21 inches long
Thats what she said
I'm at some bar in brklyn... just made out with a guy named Owen.
He is a pre-school teacher... just sang me a song about weather.
other girls like to lick balls but none of them live for it like u do
I'm gonna make this happen. You think it would be too forward to text him my room number with turn by turn directions straight to my crotch?
Of course my walk of shame coincided with the alumni marathon on campus. But, I did get a thumbs up from the woman handing out water.
Last time I saw him the sun was coming up and he was asleep in the student wellness parking lot. For some reason people were peeing on him.
Her roommate "grounded" her because she drunkenly tried to fill their fish tank with vodka
Whoever brought the pigeon, please come and remove it from my living room.
You should really trust me on this one. "hit it and quit it" might not be the best career move on your part...
That's just a really flattering way of saying, "Yes, you're useless, but you have great tits."
Also, there's the possibility of falling 5 feet to your death to make it more exciting
In which case I will yell FIVE SECOND RULE and continue to slam you
Do I like my job? I just bought 1/2 oz of pot from my supervisor at work. At a discount. And he said, "pay me whenever."
went to their party, left halfway through to fuck a pledge, came back to keep drinking. I think everyone won.
Shroomed with my best friend'a dad at his wife's surprise birthday party so you can say I have experience in the field
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
