Just cleaned up my puke with my lecture notes.
I don't remember which guy I met at the bar is coming to pick me up. It will be like my birthday surprise.
Dude how the fuck are we gonna get the lawnmower outta the pool?
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
How do guys with small dicks who cheat on their girlfriends get girlfriends!?!
we had to stop you from eating moldy cake.. twice.
Just watched a guy puke off his bike. Beyond impressed. He didn't even swerve
all i could think about while he was eating me out was how pretty his eyelashes were
You've never even broken a bone. You singlehandedly disprove natural selection
Swear to god our friendship has its limits. Stop peeing on the fucking refrigerator.
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
I didn't think you were that drunk until you were trying to rub your foot on my vag under the table at the thai place.
Randomize
