Going to bed naked. Too bad I am all alone. Need to make some changes. Either sleep with clothes or with you
i should write a book entitled 'the joys of being sexually objectified'
You Were screaming "Im trying to get it in" and "stop cock blocking" while i threw you in the car
Just drunk tweeted NASA asking them to give me a lift home in one of their spaceships. Fingers crossed
was it me or did you scream 'champagne motherfucker' when you punched him in the face ??
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
I vote we get high and sneak off to McDonald's to get mcflurries.
YES. ALL MY YES.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
I spanked her so hard I woke up Grandma
Hey now one little girl thought it was cool I was covered in blood. Apparently according to her Mom she wants to be a surgeon when she grows up
I found out he hated a girl that I hate so I fucked him. My reasons for fucking guys are getting bad.
Hopefully he gets to dig deep into my body, before he digs deep into my past ..
Intoxication Level: I'm as graceful and flawless as a fucking dinosaur.
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