Just checked my missed calls... why did you call me 37 times from 2:14 to 3:58?
The bartender told me the best pick-up line was to look deep into her eyes and tell her your gonna flick her vagina
she keeps The Day After Pill in her bra... there is a God.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
It's gotten to the point where even copying off yahoo answers is still way too much work.
I hate it when she philosophizes drunkenly on my kitchen counter. not even sober do i understand latin.
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
Oh, and no balcony sex...trust me.
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
Sangria Flip Cup was probably one of our worse drunken decisions
My hungover walk of shame was interrupted by a stranger on a balcony throwing me a beer to shotgun... at 10 a.m....
My Sundays are fucking awful. Can't get a blow job.....can't get a win.
if you were broke and planning on using koolaid as a tequila chaser which flavor would you pick?
i accidentally gave my stepdad ketamine so id say it was a fun weekend.
Randomize
