why did they invent bidet's? your butt gets clean when your poop falls in the toilet and splashes up anyway...
I'm going to rise like a phoenix out of the drunken, shameful ashes that were last weekend.
All she said was "the usual?" and unzipped my pants.
I thinking of taking all of the pics of his dick that he's sent me and making a calendar.
Our kitchen sink faucet is leaking, so I set a pitcher under it to catch water for Kool-Aid tomorrow rather than turn on the faucet. The environment owes me.
she's traveling up the coast with her camera and a stash of pot cookies eating food from different campuses. said she slept in a closet 2 states away last nite... of course I'm interested
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
It's pathetic. My bed hasn't been this sexless since it was in bedmart.
He just subscribed to one of my Spotify playlists. The next step is sex.
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
you can't let guys come on your chest and then hog my blanket
If you kill yourself you won't get to feel that feeling when you have a good shit in the morning. Arent you gonna miss that?
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
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