Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Please find an outlet that isn't stripping or getting drunk and arrested
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
Pretty sure I just shit out pure stomach acid. I'll explain after you take me to a hospital
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
HOLY FUCK I JUST GOT WOKEN UP BY THUNDER!!!!!
I THINK I SHARTED
Lets trade lives
And i will lay in bed and piss all over everywhere, drink whiskey and have sex with married bears
Again??? Now we can't ever fucking go there again STOP PEEING IN FOYERS
Bro if you were a bird I would puke in your mouth right now
I raged so hard that I was so hungover today I threw up out of a car window going 50mph cause my parents didn't pull over quick enough ...sorry to the people behind us
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Don't be hating on my everclear. Never taken a smoother journey into intoxication.
By the way I can not feel my vagina. It's like it's asleep. What the hell did you do?
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
Randomize
