Ha. Yes. I'm at a strip club. I'm the barack obama of strip clubs
oh so you have enough money for the third eye blind concert but not enough for the morning after pill?
the guy working at the drive-thru just asked me if i wanna bang after he gets off work tonight.
given your current drought situation, im genuinely curious to know what your answer was
i told him maybe and gave him my number. sad? probably. but even if the sex is bad maybe i'll get a free burger out of it
Please return the baby Jesus and sheep to the quad
Tonight I think I'm going to go out with a french braid so I don't wake up with puke hair. Thoughts?
And your mom thought you weren't even thinking about your future... she would be proud
Idk yet. Trying to convince him to get a phoenix bird tattoo first
Would you and/or him be willing to dress up like the phantom, sing me music of the night and then bone the shit out of me? this is important.
I think my nap took me to another dimension
Seriously insulted!! You can not share my dick pick with your gay brother. He won't quit poking me on fb
Also there's so much vodka on my breath that if I blew on my fingers my nail polish would fall right off
I still have to bake cookies and shave my legs so Mike can have MILF & cookies when he gets home.
I'd say I was is in rare form last night but it's becoming pretty common.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
Last night you dunked donut holes in spinach dip, ate it, threw up, and continued eating. I cant keep up with your drunk eating skills.
I was wondering where the donuts went.
I did not get pleasing results from googling “Bob Ross goat”
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