Yep, it's a dick on our front door. Intentional?
...So a 6 ft tall drag queen in heels I would kill for just told me I have a dunkable ass. I'm confused...but I'll take any compliment I can.
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
He was probably pissed, but i couldn't tell for sure. How pissed can someone really look while holding a fishbowl mimosa?
I am too drunk to make real decisions. I had pop rocks all over my ass earlier. This is not a joke.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I wasn't sure how he was going to followup "so,i shot myself.." i guess "w a nail gun" is the best choice out of what I expected
I can't tell you details but at one point I had her pee strapped to my back in a ziploc
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
We hooked up. It felt slightly wrong considering he is my foreign exchange student but there's a reason America imports. Foreigners got the goods.
I think I may have walked up to her while she was with her friends and asked for a "do over".
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
My drunk ass is being chauffeured around like the damn queen of England
As I walked across the lawn after the party got busted, an officer told me to chug my beer before I left the premises.
Randomize
