You ran away and I found you three blocks later lying by a dumpster because "that's where your life belongs"
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
just saw way to many penises for it being 5 o'clock on a thursday
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Touche. Dude, I fastened garters. Drunk. I deserve a medal from a drag queen.
so you know how I brush my teeth after I give you a bj? according to my dentist my teeth have never been cleaner. looks like this will be a recurring thing
So baked. About to eat a calzone then hate fuck this guy.
THAT'S MY GIRL
I just sneezed glitter I JUST SNEEZED G LITTER I j u st SneeZED GLIT TER I DO NOT HAVE TIME FOR THIS AT ALL.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
I wish my nipples were as well behaved as yours.
I don't need inspirational quotes. If I'm going to be motivated, it will be by anger and spite.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
He kept saying "Ayyyyyyy" during foreplay... during sex.... during everything! It felt like I was having sex with friggin Fonzie from Happy Days!
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
