My liver just broke up with me...
What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
He was eating me out on the dryer...and his mom walked in with her laundry basket...
He wasn't the only one with a full load.
I'm still drunk from last night...I walked out for a cigarette with one of the Janitors here and apparently someone took a shit on the stairs...Which makes me wonder...was that me?
just took my ibuprofen with ramen broth, yay college
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
She wants to have naked weekends
They call that free range vagina in France
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
Slow dancing with the chandelier.
So I dropped $130 while buying shots for an army ranger, got my fake taken, almost went to jail, and came out of my black out when I was talking to the cops with a stolen detour sign in my hands.
We have so much sex to catch up on
Went outside and he was playing rock paper scissors with a cop over a drunk in public ticket.
I think my ph in my vagina is actually off from the lack of sex I've had this break compared to finals week.
I woke up with sticky red stuff all over my sheets, face, and chest. Apparently after I blacked out I thought eating ribs in bed was a good idea
I just saw your mom take a body shot off an undergrad, please tell me you're somewhere near by.
Randomize
