Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
watching hot guy on train scrolling with his blackberry's track ball... o to be that track ball...
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
I was just referred to as 'the margarita slut' by an 11 year old.
Is all white too much for court to prove my innocents?
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
which one of you assholes put my new jeans down the garbage disposal?!
That happens a lot to the people around me. It's like I'm radioactive but instead of cancer, you get desensitized to the word cunt
Is it weird that I'm looking up pubic hairstyles?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Dude get over here. Steven brought super soakers filled with colored vodka.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
I just had a mini meltdown cause I thought they forgot to put the cheese packet in my mac and cheese. I'm having an awful week.
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