it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
So I've gone into the break room to heat up a styrofoam cup 8 times over the course of 4 hours.. that desperate to see him. Now I have a broken heart AND cancer.
Nice. I ate a jello shot out of a bovine blow up doll's love hole last night
I peed glitter this morning and had a beard drawn on my face with eyeliner. Last time I do shots with gay Dan.
Standing in front of the open refrigerator with a 3/4 empty bottle of wine eating Bac-o's from the jar, topless. Somebody really should've taught me better coping skills.
If graduating leads me to stop getting naked at inappropriate times in public places I'm going to be pissed
Well you wanna do it now or later? I've had three shots and I'm listening to journey by myself. Emotionally there is no better prime time than right now.
I'm lowering my standards just so I can get laid, but I draw the line when a guy spells cool kewl
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
Just fyi there is a naked girl somewhere in your house. I woke up and she was gone, definitely left her clothes tho
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Just got home from work. I'm going to change into sweats for a while before I have to wear normal pants to the party like I promised.
The thing I'm gonna miss about him is his dick.
can jess come too?
sure! but I don't have enough booze for the both of you.
she comes with her own booze, no worries.
Randomize
