I have no voice and feel like lukewarm beer.
In case you were wondering, my scare crow is wearing your outfit from last night.
Judging by his buldge, this guy is huge. just paid steve to follow him into the bathroom and find out. They had a convo about it.
The poor thing was so drunk they wheeled his motorcycle into the bar. I just dropped him off to pick it up. The best walk of shame ever.
I'll be on pinterest all night planning crafty things to do with my cats in 10 years.
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
Def just hooked up with my brother's senior prom date in his bed. Does that make me the worst brother ever?
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
hoooly shit dude in taco costume challenged alpha douche to a fight. he's got catch phrases. come. now.
He left for work so I drank pickle juice from his fridge
You got me 4 pizzas and i just saw this. I'm too drunk for this shit. I just yelled "4 pizzas holy shit!" At the pizza dude
I've talked to too many cops in one week and I haven't even committed any crimes. I hate the suburbs
😂😂😂 what are we doing to these poor guys?!
Maintaining the status quo.
Where are you? Where am I? Why am I so red?
Dude did you see that video of yourself crying while bathing in vodka on YouTube?
Randomize
