I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
I just made $100 from people paying me not to get naked at the party... I need those P90X dvds
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
Just saw a baby with a T-shirt that read "I am the result of my mother forgetting to take her magic pills". I can't believe they make shit like that.
I'm sitting in the middle of them on his bed, forcing them to watch Brokeback Mountain. I am the best cock blocker ever.
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
I know you're gay. But if I'm not getting dick, then you have to. That's what friends do.
Is it really bad that my last patient offered to fuck my brains out if I gave her IV morphine...and I gave her my phone number and told her when my shift is over?
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
In honor of Randy Savage we're wearing spandex and handing out slim jim's with option to suplex. Get behind it
he offered to let me fuck his brother , of course im marrying him
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