Do you think Patty Mayonase ever went down on Doug?
Just got kicked out of the ocean for being "unsafe".
There are going to be so many Snookis this Halloween that I might just dress as the guy that hit her and punch them all in the face
Found out that it IS actually possible to get road head from somebody in the back seat
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I rocked my own world, he was just a prop.
Dude, I lost my shirt, and my doorknob is gone. I'm not sure which I should find first
I have a rash on my arm from the cat litter. Think the cat will be mad that I peed in its box?
I woke up at like 4 am with an old Korean woman cuddling me. I assure you she was not there when I went to sleep.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
We have been dating for 5 months. I'm friends with his sister. Yet my number in his phone is still saved as "hot bartender"
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