Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
too bad being hungover isnt a job. just threw up from 9am to 5pm
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
Why is there a frozen condom filled with water in my freezer?
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
Your first words after putting out the flames, "how am I supposed to eat girls out with my top lip burned off??"
Yeah no more flaming everclear shots.
I may or may not go. send a pic of a nipple so I know how much fun you're having
Lets ignore the fact that you want to turn your dorm room into a sex dungeon and focus on the real issues here.
dude, you declined head because you wanted to tell her about how you put cinnamon in your weed. also, we're low on Chef Boyardee
It felt as if we were fucking on a sea of baby feet and morgan freemans face hair
LOVE ME MORE THAN PIZZA CAN
the guy I've been trying to get with saw my brother's genitals before he saw mine, so that's my life.
Some days you ride the struggle bus. Other days, it gets a flat, the AC breaks, and you run over a bunny.
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
Randomize
