can you pick up canola oil? she lives by wegmans
who is canola oil?
you're an idiot.
So apparently when I was 2, I went around drinking everybody's beer at some wedding, then passed out in a corner....
This explains a lot.
He walked me home last night across campus while i fed him pasta out of a solo cup at 3 am.
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
I just realized my mom and I make the same noises when we have sex. Fuck.
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
You had me at "mimosas" several texts ago.
We crashed a rave, threw glitter all over Gay Dan and the bartender, broke a chandelier and called ourselves the Kings of Neon.
But mostly the blowjob in the airport bathroom was what I was laughing at.
You know you're too drunk when you start calling people out for unfollowing you on social networks.
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I'm going to become fluent in fucking Belgian boys
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
HIGH AS FUCK. JUST WATCHED THE TRIPPIEST VIDEO EVER. IM NOT SCARED OF PANDAS. I GOTTA GO. TRIPPIN AGAIN
Randomize
