Apparently when you order 'bottomless fries' at red robin that doesnt mean you can go around to every table and eat all the fries you want off other peoples plates.
i just saw an ambulance and a fire truck pull away from the dorms. it appears somebody actually IS feeling shittier than me today.
We Started drinking at 8am and left the bar around 11pm....I hate ALL green things
I'm surrounded by too many unhungover people.
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
I threw all my money on the ground and said it was for homeless people and fell down the stairs
Apparently "I licked it so now it's mine" doesn't apply to people
Mostly what I remember is someone saying "raise your hand if you're too turnt" then raising my hand and falling
Nipple rings and loofahs DO NOT mix.
When he's drowning in your chest and he muffles out the words 'I just want to live here' that's a compliment right?
I HAD TO PAY A COVER FOR THE FIRST TIME LAST NIGHT. My tits didn't get me in and I was so pissed.
the best part is that i get to keep the pot plants and he still has my name tattooed on his ass
You looked at the bouncer while you pissed on the front door of the bar and said...who the fuck are you?
Do u think the bouncer will let me in with a giant stuffed snake?
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
Randomize
