remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
they're doing drop shots of Jager into red wine. i don't want to be on that level
come onnn, where's your sense of adventure?!
I left it in that guy's dorm room.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
the dude in the apartments across the street got a video of me railing blake on your front steps last night
shit like this is why i dont let you drink vodka anymore ..
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
He made a deal with his real estate agent called fucking in 50 properties for sale
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
The room got awkwardly silent right as i yelled "leave him alone! I know plenty of straight guys who like to suck dick!"
I get so pissed when there is something that NEEDS to be made fun of and you're not here.
Randomize
