dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Ian has mac and cheese all in his bed/on the wall. Either you did it or he fell asleep with a bowl in his hand and spasmed in his sleep.
Cooked or uncooked?
whenever I think of his sister, I just picture a chick with a huge beard
He's crying and calling me out on using him. It's awful. And I'm too drunk to leave.
I feel like I just tasted lung cancer.
She keeps telling me I can't keep feeding the dog my food. I gave half the weed brownie to the dog and half to me. I just want it to taste the greatness of cheezits like I am.
When he pulls out of you and farts and says ahh I wanted to do that for the past 30 mins ....you rethink the next drunken hook up
Itd be nice if there was a level of interest in me somewhere in between the indifference and obsession that I've only been attracting
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I need a conscience and I need it yesterday.
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
I'm shotgunning a meatball sub and watching flip or flop. i have reached a new level of singledom.
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Fuck this virus. We’re finally back on campus but the bars suck parties are banned sports are canceled we eat in our rooms and can’t fucking hangout with anyone. I’m tired of virtual classes and involuntary celibacy
OMG IKR! It’s not college unless we’re puking in a toilet wondering if we’re pregnant or just hungover!
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