I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
We put her face under a blacklight.....it looked like fireworks
jungle juice + heels + stairs = broken arm
There are some college kids out at 4 in the morning dragging each other on a sled behind a bike. its too entertaining to call the cops
Are you still at the party or did I leave?
Most sexually ambiguous night of my life. Kept switching from the NBA finals to the Tonys.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
Have to get circumcised. Doctor goes, "On the bright side, you can tell people your dick is too wide."
Hope you don't mind if I never tell my family about you.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
I told her the party couldn't handle my playlist LAZERBAWLS and I was right. Cops in the basement, orgy in the kitchen, jousting in the living room.
I'm going to start charging you rent if you keep leaving your random conquests on my living room couch the morning after
Went and sat in the wrong fucking class for 30 mins, answering questions and shit. What ever this is i will be on it for the rest of the semester.
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize