Honestly there's alot of things I'm confused about the only thing I know for certain about last night is that I ate pizza
Black thong, sheer white shorts not a professional look. This chick has no idea what sunlight makes her outfit look like.
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Been at work for four hours and just discovered the chairs in my office double as a napping surface. Most productive thing I've done all day
she's walking down the hall in a thong and one flip flop and one ugg
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
In anticipation of No Judgement Tuesday, I believe a Can We LOL At What We Did Last Night Saturday is in order
All these girls I talk to are like I've never had a hangover and I'm like you don't drink right here let me show you
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
So I woke up with a terribly bandaged finger an then discovered a pot of bloody onions on the stove.....who the fuck decided it was a good idea for me to try and cook
My lunch = taste testing salsas for A&P. They gave me a free 64oz grape juice as a thank you. So, now we have something to drink in the house. So while you are spending all the money on breakfast rolls and pizza for lunch, I'm cigaretteless and whoring myself for tablespoons of salsa and free juice.
My ninety day supply of adderal just came in the mail and I literally just dumped all 180 pills into my hands and laughed like a maniac. Shits about to get cray
Dude, she set my Tinder preference to men, set the radius to 100 miles, and used up all of my right swipes. I think she's mad.
Drink water, eat food, and stop tazing yourself
I'm killing it this week, I've peed my pants and put my vibrator into the washing machine.
Randomize