Hahaha, sighhhh...I texted him to no response. It's a shame, really...I would gladly exchange my body for pizza rills.
I thought smoking would make her look better, but all it did was enlighten me to her snaggletooth
Sounds like a blessing in disguise
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
Dude, just discovered frito and mozzarella nachos. Don't say I never contributed anything to this world.
There are 3 pics of me on my camera, naked, wearing only an apron, scooping ice cream.
You're barking up the wrong lesbian.
Ps this homeless dude just came in hotel bar w a sword sticking out his jumpsuit trying to buy a drink w a 3rd party check
I've decided that I'm okay with you getting a goat. I have to get over my completely rational fear of goats somehow.
Apparently we don't communicate very well unless we're drunk and/or naked
I've done dumber things than this for flimsier reasons. Come with. If I pull it off I need a witness, and if I fail I need an escape plan.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I associate the Game of Thrones theme song with his dick now.
She squirted. We were both surprised. I'm that good.
Clothing is a burden necessitated by propriety.
She looked up and said "I like this." I asked "what do you like?" she said "penis."
Randomize
