why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
im pretty sure i just dented her unborn child.
shhh. i hid the ranch dip behind the rooster. don't tell anyone that way you can find it in the morning and it won't be all eaten.
wrong number but thanks
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
Great I'll forever be branded as gym slut at the new gym.
Well, love is in the air. And by that I mean: it seriously smells like sex in here.
Someone took a picture of their balls on my phone last night. BEAUTIFUL PACKAGE. I will find this man.
Nhl reached an agreement. I plan on getting me some celebratory sex from a hockey player.
dude his girlfriend left the meanest shit just marinating in our toilet. I'm gonna have to snap chat this out, theres no other option. prepare yourself
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
How many Wendy's frosties do you think it would take to fill a bathtub?
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
Thanks again for the coffee and orgasms
just saw those girls we met the other night. i happen to be wearing a bunny suit and driving your smart car. i think its safe to say thats a no go situation.
I'm pretty sure the cop knew you were drunk when you tried to light your cigg with a chapstick.
Randomize
