have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
im over her. I got weed and youtube. everything i could ever ask for.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
I walked downstairs and there were 50 sorority girls. I wasn't expecting an audience during my walk of shame.
I just puked on my dog.I feel summer coming on
Night out in new white coat = success. Offered free breast exams all night, two took me up on it, woke up with one. I love medical school!!!
My grandpa just complimented my boobs. Im taking this as a compliment but also brushing it off as alcoholism on his part.
I've been crying in my room listening to Billy Joel for 2 hours. Thank God Four Loko was banned.
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
I have no recollection of sleep choking you
Listen man this isn't about soccer. It's about America and day drinking... Your two favorite things now get your ass over here
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I got sucker punched while I was making out with some girl...I think my molar might have flown into her mouth
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
The work outs are working. Someone just said my body type was “Tits On A Stick”.
Randomize
