I have a client coming in and there's a note that says she wants her hair to like Elisabeth Hasselback's from the view
that's Oklahoma for you
is it sad that i think every plant i pass on the highway looks like a plant from farmville?
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
last thing I heard her say before I passed out was 'this is great. I never get to be the big spoon.'
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
At some point last night was I riding a garbage can.. Things are starting to come back to me
Did you sleep with Connor? And who undressed me? There's a picture of two guys peeing out my bedroom window. What happened?
therea a video of her dad walking in while i screamed "lets have a fashion show!" and fell off the table
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
It's ok, I like adventure. Just ask my vagina.
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
You can't be friends with my side piece. Conflict of interest.
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
Randomize
