I like bacon cheeseburgers and the pussycat dolls
Does that mean you want me to loosen up your buttons at carls jr?
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
this girl with a french braid down the center of her head won't stop talking about the benefits of the free market. i'm hungover, bloated and haven't slept for 4 days. shut up french braid girl, shut up.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
Just had lapdance from stripper that had her 5th kid 28 hours earlier. A for work ethic.
Those mornings you wake up with a Barbie tramp stamp are the mornings that are the that are going to make me miss this place
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
Omg. I'm making you a chocolate and "herb" birthday cake and using joints for candles. I'm gunna need moms help with this!
I woke up with chocolate melted between my tits. I'd say that's a win for all parties involved.
However, you did manage to order seven different drinks while fingering her at the packed bar - it was like watching the pizza men pound the dough in the windows
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
Randomize
