ohhh my god. this party should be titled "my hookups of summers past" be expecting some good stories tomorrow
We are like the golden girls with less cheesecake and more drugs.
Her life must suck. All she's got is "Miss Shamrock" WHICH SHE LOST!
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
he went down on me with a nose plug on, you tell me how it went
Just tell him to eat fruit before so it tastes good. Then it's just like shotgunning a smoothie
I fed the cats at 7 am, made her eggs, gave her oral, and now I'm helping her clean and baking her brownies. Cosmos got nothing on me.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
I feel like if Miami and New Jersey fucked each other and produced a baby that would summarize the bar I'm in.
definitely just forgot to put car in park in front of a police officer and ran into a bush.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
I just got three pairs of underwear free and a bathing suit for $20 by modeling them and letting the salesman grope me a bit.
It's great being a young gay man in Chicago!
Sending dick pics while driving a car going 80 in the rain at night to a married woman? Why hello 2014
Hey bro are you still alive??? I'm sure you are wondering how you ended up laying on the floor at the foot of your bed and why there is a wheelchair by your door....
Well, I like big penises but it's not like he walks around with it out or anything so yes I think he has beautiful eyes
Randomize
