You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
You know how I told you I don't have many naked pics? Apparently that changed last night.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
I woke up with his wallet, but not him. Gold-digging at it's finest.
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
I've thrown up in front of nearly every customer we've had today.
I thought this guy walking back to the dorms with his black laundry bag was walking a black flamingo I'm not even kidding I had to take a break on a bench after that.
You're my favorite person
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
I just ordered 30 klonopins from India that could probably be anything from Viagra to Midol. You need to find another friend to get advice from right now
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
reason #326 why I'm still single.... my date just told me there's a little boy ghost that lives in his closet because he likes his music.
lets go to sea world and you can just hit on every guy in a wetsuit until you get lucky
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
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