WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
it was like fucking with batman, he had gadgets i never even imagined
the only muscles i have these days is kegels
The bartender gave me a roll of masking tape so I could tape my heels to my feet so I wouldn't lose them when i went drunk running later that night
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
He hit on a bridal shower w/ his hand on my tit the entire time. Gave his number to the mom.
Can we have a celebratory fuck now that the lockout is over?
You're the best girlfriend ever.
a 6'8" white kid in a Lin jersey just wandered out of my gay kid brother's room. when does spring break end, again?
Vodka tonic time....wish me luck!
Go for it my man. I'm saving my shit show night for tomorrow. Gonna make it a big one just to let the entire bar know why I'm single
He said he wanted to sit next to the fountain so he could "watch the water hit the other water".
Glass of stolen champagne in a to go cup = tastiest hangover cure ever
I almost forgot to feel shameful, if that answers your question.
Had sex in a blanket fort. How was your weekend?
She has a girlfriend too.. we decided that two cheats equal eachother out to zero. with our flawed grasp on algebra and the bottle of jack we were passing back and forth the logic seemed airtight.
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