After 9 shots a girl with a mustache......still not attractive
Just threw up at the table during our Father's Day dinner. And I managed to get quite a bit on dad, so that was nice.
Stars make me really horny. Especially that shiny one its just staring at me.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
3 different guys in my psych class know me as 3 different names and said hi to me with all 3 different names-Andrea, Grace, and Bella
I've never been more proud of you
Girl next to me in class just said to her friend "and I haven't even cried yet." Challenge accepted
From what I can tell at a cursory glance, it seems that last night I fell asleep on string cheese and it melted into my bra.
i can't invite random hot hobos into my aunt's house.
I only have one kid whom I wish to hit in the face with an active jackhammer. How's work?
we managed to melt a few different forms of plastic into the cannibutter....
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He told me to leave him behind and bury him in his batman pajamas. So two lessons I guess, don't give Tom whiskey and don't touch his daddy issues with a twenty nine and a half foot pole.
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
Randomize
