Just fyi NOT a good idea to drunkenly insert your NuvaRing after chopping jalepeno peppers
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
Some girl just asked us for directions back to campus. we told her to take the first four lefts. We live on a block. she believed us
My teachers should feel privileged to see me this morning, after the amount of alcohol I consumed last night.
Why wouldn't u just let me ride the washing machine
No she hasen't showed up to my place yet, last I heard she was puking as she was walking without stopping near the park.
I am literally missing a chunk of eyelashes. That's how fun it was.
Between the booze, mechanical bulls, and penis's I think my body hates it when I'm single
I made him a flow chart of what to do if I got arrested.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
I vaguely remember making out with his tattoo (?) and giving him an awesome massage and then I passed out on his floor. Shrug
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Watching Colbert Report and porn at the same time.
I know you want to take a pregnancy test, but could you wait until Sunday so it doesn't ruin our weekend
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