i jus pukd everywherw but i took a showr, come cuddle
I just shaved my legs while pooping. classy or trashy?
talent.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
I'm at a party with half naked strippers driving in a little kids battery powered mustang around a stipper pole in his bedroom
You know you're old when tea and a hot bath are more appealing than beer pong with lesbians.
Ok- my dad's ex-wife's Irish nephew. Weird if we fuck or not?
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
More importantly this is sex weather and i am striking out
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
I should have known when she said it would be "fun" we'd end up in the hospital
Just learned that the cute guy I've been flirting with at the beach this whole time is actually an inmate working in the community instead of being in prison.. My life is unreal
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
How much glitter would I have to ingest in order for a "magnificent" amount to appear in my ejaculate?
I should be in a better mood, I just went home and had a quickie on my lunch break.
I had a sandwich.
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