Never eat 3 McGriddles and drink a carton of milk. It's like you're successfully killing self but you're alive.
How does one fall all the way up a flight of stairs? Its hard on me knowing that the survival of our species depends on me not reproducing.
you two really need to work out your issues. my vagina can't handle another week of your pent up frustrations.
He just climbed off me and used my hairspray to fix his hair. If he hadn't just gone down on me I would think he's gay.
Crying in the liquor store is not a good look
I've decided I want to blow you wearing a santa hat.
Aren't rabbit ears more seasonally appropriate?
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
Me and him were fist fighting in the back of the cab and I offered the driver a 100% tip to call him an asshole. I don't know why.
Yea, she's 42 I'm 23. Girls our age are terrible. All they need is a divorce and a bottle of wine
I'm at the local community college pretending to be a substitute for a computer applications class
Yes, yes I will fake crap in his house for you.
Se wrote an essay in class about proper and fashionable winter wear for dogs. Of course I regret fucking her.
we've never stayed at a party for more than an hour. we always end up at a pizzaria. by ourselves. with no friends.
what else are best friends for?
You coming to give me head and eat tacos?
She looks like a character that batman would try to kill, or something.
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