i have this theory that all the people in the world who dont like mayonnaise had very bad encounter with jizz once
Why is there not a 'day after acid' genre. Or even a pandora station or something.
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
all i remember of last night is that i was drinking jameson and then NOTHING i do remember walking a dog though\nwhich is sooo fucking weird
OH MY GOD ITS COMING BACK I PUT THE DOG IN THE HOTTUB TOO
after I lost so many games of beer pong they made me be a troll, I sat under the table and told riddles while retrieving balls.
You have to understand, he didn't so much come out of the closet as he backflipped out of it with an accompanying marching band.
I know my whole body feels like I belly flopped onto concrete. Seriously need to tone it down for a while
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
last night you told me I had a dark, salty butthole
don't give me stepladders when i'm stoned.. i woke up to a slice of balogna nailed to the ceiling
Baruch atah adonai DAT ASS DOE
Pretty good. Thinking about getting day drunk and filling out job applications so I don't hate myself as much
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
He actually said the words 'I miss you' followed by 'I wanna have sex with your face'. I'd say that's a win.
My moral compass kept pointing to his penis.
Randomize
