I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
I am at the gas station and there is a whole amish family here I'm not sure why the amish need gas but I think its worth investigating
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
between my moustache and how drunk I am it will be a miracle if I get laid tonight.
I'm hiding behind a bush in mens clothing next to a ducks crossing sign. There are joggers. Please hurry.
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
I can't find the keys to get out of my front door, there are random socks in my bicycle basket and I can see a plastic handle of cheap vodka sitting on my porch. oh, and my head just broke u with me.
I recorded his orgasm, set it as his ringtone, and called him while they were singing happy birthday to his mom. Yeah, revenge is sweet.
she came into my car to rip lines with our blow dealer as I was writing my essay on anti drug policy, i call it on site research
Can we just get drunk and watch the Birdcage please I have no tolerance for straight men today
last night i fell off a barstool and busted my nose. i can regretfully say that i didn't see cherub last night.
If you're with any of them tell them i apologize for (insert whatever i did here)
The only thing I remember is the 300 pound man breaking ur railing from sliding down it at 3 am. Must of been a good night.
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
I am in no place to make rational decisions, but right now i want you inside me
Randomize
