it's my fault, I passed out instead of getting up to pee.
really keith? you showed me your dick and your not gonna text me back
Its really not funny anymore. I need to stop shaving while i'm drunk
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
A valentines day commercial would come on while I'm masturbating...
Thank you for the legal advice. I hope I can pay you in blow jobs.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
And at the semi-adult age of 25 I have shit my pants. Not even drunk, just really late to work. Is this real life?
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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