We made it safely. Thanks for the call though.
come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
I can feel you judging me through the phone.
He just asked me if his big had a curved penis. Awkward? I think so.
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
I just want a box on franzia all to myself. Just me, my wine, my tears, & my self loathing.
Next time I say "Watch this" Get me the fuck out of the bar.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
Hey I'm not sure why your jacket's covered in maple syrup but I just realized you didn't leave the house earlier wearing a jacket...
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
And if I could both stabilize myself *and* pick things up with my penis... Well, I wouldn't be on the fire dept...
if this uncomfortable exchange we're having is you trying to flirt with me i suggest you stop it before someone gets hurt
I told him I'd ride his broomstick if he let me call him Harry Potter and drew a lightning bolt on his forehead.
I kind of just assumed by how he whisked eggs that he would be bad in bed.
I've never been so turned off by an omelet.
I can see. My condolences to your vagina.
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