I just found 'pokemon orgy' in my search history
Freshman orientation day on campus. Dear diary, JACKPOT.
i walked into the first stall,, but there was no paper, so i'm in the other one. a little kid is in the one without paper now and is making a lot of noise. curious how this'll turn out for him.
she said, and i quote, "i want to black out with my rack out"
You kept spitting the skittles out cause you said they tasted like "balls of sandpaper"
My aunt totally just drunk dialed me when i was super stoned, it was so intense
they fed me a peach. i was laying on the floor telling them how beautiful they were
I'm so prepared to puke on walk of shame tomorrow that I'm putting a toothbrush and toothpaste in my purse the night before. And to think, my dad thought I wouldn't make it in college.
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
Yeah. I couldn't figure out why my toes hurt. Apparently, the guy I was dancing with, kept running them over with his wheelchair.
My disney ticket is covered in lube, do you think they will accept it?
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
Randomize
