im bored tell me something entertaining
You got period blood on my carpet. I lied to my mom and said it was jam.
I wish i could put a picture of my ass of my resume...that seems to be the only way i will ever get hired
I just got eleven picture messages of my dick and balls hanging out of my shorts last night. I guess it really is summer when the fratastic, man-thigh exposing shorts come out...
Bro i heard that. I've seen so many balls this month its like march madness all over again
She told me I had to leave by four. We fucked until six thirty and we are the champions played on the way home. Yeah god knew
Housing came buy and confiscated our shopping cart :(
Annabeth just got on the bar and slurred something about how she was worried that when she started dating you your penis wouldnt fit. You are one lucky bastard my friend.
just go where the car takes you. fingers crossed its here with breakfast.
plus there's no nice way to tell a guy you physically hate the shape of their cock.
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
I consider any night I don't make out with someone a bad night. So I've been great.
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Whiskey and tits go great with anything. Especially fire.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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