Now hope fervently that she'll do it quick and cheap, just the way i like it
Here's a fun fact your kittens ate my vomit last night
planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
Excuse me? I'm weird? You're the one sticking your penis into a pringles can.
You told me to hold on because you had to barf like a dinosaur.
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
i think the doormans mad at me
well we haven't pretended to pretend we were going to have a threesome with him for a while...
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
he wrote me a grocery list while i was passed out. every other item was gin. it went on for 4 pages.
Yeah got a self inflicted broken nose.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
It's whatever. I just want to see his dick again
That's not fair! You can't come over after you just had sex and rub my dry spell in my face!
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize