I think I'm in Tiajuana
You are not in Tijuana. I saw you an hour ago
I could be
either fucking kiss her or kick her ass to the curb. Either way I can hear everything you are saying
super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
I just drank Colt45 out of a champagne glass. I feel classy.
Colt 45 out of anything is classy.
I don't think so, think I've only met him once, the night I lost my teeth
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
Things I have that belong to you: shorts, headband, bra, purse, chinese food, vodka, and blood on my jeans. Happy homecoming.
You need to get over here. I think the drunks are about to sacrifice a chicken to the beer gods. Or a freshman. Stay tuned.
WE COULD TOTALLY DO ECSTASY AND GO TO THAT CAT SHELTER OFF OF BROADWAY.
Dude I'm driving around California right now hiding little bags of weed in random places like Easter eggs so that I can come back and find them later
I walked into my room last night at 4 am and there's a random dude in his boxers eating oatmeal on my futon. I looked at him and went to bed
I ate 2 pot cookies before we left the house. Fuck Pokemon. I'm playing my own game.
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
Randomize
