Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
It just sucks seeing everyone get flowers but me...
yeah, but they die. it takes a while, but they die. just like all of these kids relationships will. tequila doesnt die. its a live in the moment thing... like a valentines day one night stand. so long run, tequila is the better gift.
hes a soccer player too.. you'd think he has better penis eye coordination
so i just realized i am an alcoholic. I was making some tomato soup because im still sick, and put vodka in it. sad huh? lets go out!
I guess you don't realize how much twelve bags of chips are, until they're all over your floor.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
He spent most of his night trying to convince people that he had changed and was no longer a sleazebag...he had his nut hanging out of his pants about an hour later.
Breaking up as roommates was a poor life decision. I'm sorry. Thank you for never shitting on the floor.
I don't know but someone, somewhere gave someone a hand job and someone else was pissed about it...
So I'm thinking about sending him some "sorry I almost peed on your computer" cookies. Thoughts?
I have a 30 minute video visit blind date tonight with a guy in prison. And it's costing me $9. ROCK... BOTTOM...
Who else will cuddle and watch the Bachelor with me then finger bang me during the rose ceremony
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
Oh and sorry for almost killing all of us last night... twice...
Randomize
